Tuesday, June 2, 2009

becoming wonderwoman



why is it that men have all the power? or better yet, why do we let them have all the power. i'm in favor of starting a new movement. let's call it the "wonderwoman movement." the basis is that women regain all the power, because let's be honest we have it and we don't use it!

if a guy likes you and you don't call him for a few days some would say that you are "playing games." but if he doesn't call you, we stress about why that is and what he is doing, when indeed he's probably sitting on his couch trying not to call you. if you are "hooking up" with a guy and he doesn't call you one night, you think maybe he has met someone else, and yet i garuntee if you call him, he will come running. on the other hand, if a guy is giving you the run around about a commitment and you end things with him, if he really likes you, he will come crawling after you.

of course it is scary to know in all of these situations that if we walk away, the guy may not coming running after us. but isn't that the point? don't we want to be with the guy who cares enough about us to come running after us and do whatever it takes to be with us? because it's not about having power over him, as much as it is about having power over our own lives, and the power to choose our happiness.

we have become so afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing that we give men the power. so instead, let's be ourselves, ask for what we want upfront, and show men that they are the ones that have to answer to us! that our lives are great without them. that we have career goals, great friends, and know how to have fun, and we are just looking for someone that can fit into our already wonderful existence, not the other way around!

1 comment:

  1. Ok I have to comment on this and I am not going to mention any names, but you all already know this one. I have always been the chaser; love a challange. When I chase a guy I really like and we become a couple, I get bored quickly. Have you seen the movie "Uptown Girls"? The scene where Brittany Murphy is in the bathtub telling her friend she can't get rid of the boy and she needs an escape, and then he says he is leaving and she freaks? Oh yeah that is sooo me. I recently fell hard for a guy. We hung out a few times and then spent an entire amazing weekend together. We talked about everything, laughed our asses off, and he truely acted like he wanted me around the whole time. As always, it didn't take long before things changed when we were back to reality. Drama arose through various third parties and the guy began to talk to me and treat me like he hadn't yet. Sound familiar? We have all been there. At this point I would usually call everytime a new thought entered my mind. There was always one more thing I HAD to say. This only let them know I was still there. Hanging out on the back burner. Not this time. I was done with this chasing game, I mean hey I have things to offer too. I simply walked away with an "if that's how you want it attitude". Let me say this did not come easily or on instinct. The whole time I was thinking "but what if he doesn't come back." That's the question that drives us girls crazy. The thought goes through our mind and our heart starts racing and our mind starts spinning. If we really sit back and examine the answers to this question, it seems so different. What if he doesn't come chasing? NEXT! You move on. Find someone better. The world doesn't end. Exactly like you said, why would we want that? Sure enough this one figured his stuff out and it worked. It was exilerating and empowering. It makes your self-esteem sky rocket. Not only were you not rejected over and over as you called or tried to win him back, but HE CAME FOR YOU. You're so right here Vetter, having the one that will put in the effort is always worth the wait. I believe that you teach people how to treat you so remember that the next time you say "I don't care where we go for dinner", "it doesn't matter to me what we do this weekend", "you didn't call me for three days, but tonight I will hook up with you", your giving him all the power. Let's face it ladies, we have what they want. Don't lower your standards EVER. Make him rise to them. Great job Yvette!

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